she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize