Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
