that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
