I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
