I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
