i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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