it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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