they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize