Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
