ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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