Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
