it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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