I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize