They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
FUCK WHALES
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