Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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