you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
