"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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