This girl is more easily done than said...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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