Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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