It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish I only lived at night.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
