We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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