Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
