I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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