what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
