Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I didn't notice because vodka
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
