they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
