So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
