I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
