is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
