Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
