First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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