Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When did we convert life to cartoon?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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