Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
