I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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