Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
