I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
