Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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