whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
