new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's never too late to be topless.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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