that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
