dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
