so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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