glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
