so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
