Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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