Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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