So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
