i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
