I feel like abortions should bother me more
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
