I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
