real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
