he puts the penis in happiness.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize