What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
