evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
