I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
