Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
