An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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