Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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