the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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