Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize