The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
